We’ve recently offered suggestions on how people of color can approach their white partner on the issue of race.
And while of course the topic of race should be an ongoing conversation with your significant other, things would go a lot smoother if men — — were able to identify and prevent racial tension from the very beginning.
So, in order to avoid some head and heartaches down the road for both parties, I’d like to offer white men some suggestions on how to best approach us.
This won’t apply to every black woman, but it wouldn’t hurt to infuse some intersectional feminism into your game.
Microaggressions are comments or actions that unintentionally alienate or demean a marginalized person or group.
More often than not we are looked over for jobs, we do not receive adequate education or medical care, and we are imprisoned at much higher rates than our white counterparts all because blackness is rarely associated with positivity. Often, someone from a marginalized group is expected to be the authority on that group’s culture, but that’s an unreasonable expectation.
So, as you’re getting to know this woman, be sure to keep the following in mind: Race is going to come up in any interracial coupling, but These are perfect examples of microaggressions.
When you compliment a black woman in this way, you are implying that we are exceptions to the rule — the rule being that that black women are not attractive, intelligent, or posses any other positive attributes.
Instead, remember that black women, like all people, have varying interests, backgrounds, and obstacles that they face daily.
Try to think of a black woman as an individual, and not as the chosen speaker for a whole diverse group.